Are You My Mother? & On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous

By Vaughn Frantz Miller

Are You My Mother?
By Alison Bechdel 

If you liked her in Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic, you’ll enjoy Alison Bechdel even more in her second comic drama Are You My Mother? Published 6 years after Fun Home, Are You My Mother? explores Bechdel’s relationship with…you guessed it: her mother.

“I hadn’t quite steeled myself to cope with that silence between us; our own emotional gulf, of which my lesbianism is only a minor inlet.”

Bechdel focuses on her mother and how the imperfect relationship from childhood shaped Bechdel’s life and informs the relationship she has with her mother throughout adulthood. As the quote suggests, this has more to do with the entirety of their relationship, and not just Bechdel’s lesbianism. However, everything is connected and audience members are also given a greater glimpse into Bechdel’s love life and its many ups and downs. Once again, her honesty and vulnerability are captivating, at times arresting my breath from the tension between characters.

It is easier to look at brilliant artists and imagine them having it all together. Without feeling invasive, readers are given a real look into Bechdel’s personal life. It felt vulnerably original, as this book uses Bechdel’s experiences in therapy, and her dive into psychoanalytics, as points for pivotal moments of breakthrough and flashback. It is one of, if not the most, honest depictions of therapy I have ever seen in media – gay or straight.

I think the relationships LGBTQ adults have with their parents (for those who are fortunate enough to have such relationships) is both a tender and underexplored topic. Even those of us with supportive parents, for one reason or another, were failed by them; such is the natural consequence of one imperfect human being caring for another imperfect human being. Bechdel was 52 years old when the book was published and the last few pages take place the year of or the year before publishing. This means the book spans over half a century of a daughter’s relationship with her mother and all the factors which influenced it through the decades. Bechdel is honest about her mother’s failings, as well as the successes for which she is grateful. True to her education and brilliant mind, Bechdel references in-depth research to create connecting points across the book. The graphic memoir is easily a quick read, but it is better appreciated if one takes a little time to absorb and reflect each chapter.

For those familiar with her first graphic novel, Are You My Mother? is possibly more thoughtful and nowhere near as tragic in content. Bechdel alludes to the impact of her father while leaving his legacy in her debut, giving the relationship between her and her mother the space it needs to air out. Furthermore, while Fun Home is an investigation into her father, Are You My Mother? explores more so Bechdel’s childhood and adulthood with more direct interaction between mother and daughter. Her illustration style tightens a bit, and it is really cool to see this development in her work. I found this book insightful, honest, and truly worth the read.

Are You My Mother? is available at multiple San Diego Public Library locations.

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous
By Ocean Vuong

Ocean Vuong’s On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous is the exploration of a young man into the life which made him. This book is intended to be a letter to his mother, a woman who cannot read in any language and speaks no English. It is a letter the recipient will never read and, as a consequence, is an honest outpouring of the lost love and struggles of a young man who came from Vietnam and grew up in the grim city of Hartford, CT.

One of the most treasured relationships from Vuong’s youth is with a friend named Trevor. As high school boys they explore their sexuality and the love between them. In these parts of the book, it does feel like Vuong gets carried away by a memory (it is a letter to his mother, after all), but the scenes are undeniably moving. I would compare Vuong’s writings of intimacy between men with the poetic, lifelike passion from James Baldwin’s work.

“That’s what I wanted – not merely the body, desirable as it was, but its will to grow into the very world that rejects its hunger.”

Overall, Vuong and Baldwin are starkly different writers. Regardless, Vuong does a phenomenal job at capturing the tenderness between lovers in a way which sits with you long after you close the book.

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous is available at several San Diego Public Library locations.