Rhinestone Heart by Slayyyter

By Korie Houston 

“I wanted to believe in love, it’s hard. Glitter that I cry like falling stars”

It’s the last of my Pride content for San Diego and what could be more symbolic than glitter, rhinestones, a little bit of self-love and many tears. This month’s track I’m dissecting is Rhinestone Heart by hyper pop girly Slayyyter from her previous album Starfucker. It’s about the feeling when someone doesn’t value you for who you are and the superficiality when you love something that isn’t real. There’s a level of heartbreak behind the glamour of Starfucker and for that reason, it’s one of my favorite albums to date. We all know I love some synth-pop. 

“Baby you stole what’s mine. 

Cut me open with a sequin knife

Now it’s all dark inside (you don’t care, though.)”

I’ve learned over the years that Pride is what you make out of it. A celebration of life, of living in truth, basking in confidence for those who have yet to be able to embrace it, but most of all to know that love can encompass many forms. It’s been said before that people can come into our lives to be lessons we didn’t know we needed. Some of those lessons come in the form of people who may be here to dim or steal your light. 

So what does it mean when you have to find your spark again? Can someone ever truly take it from you? I’ve finally learned: the answer is no.

“Showing me off, heart on display. 

I’m just a piece in your collection of things

Ribbons of tears falling from my face

You never cared about me anyway”

I’m a firm believer in following your heart. That’s what life has become for me over the years. Marking my 10th year living unapologetically as myself, and with my 31st birthday approaching, I’ve loved hard and lost myself in so many different way. Pride has always marked a shift in me every year. It heals me in dark moments, reminds me to be resilient, and to not make my life revolve around a broken heart but to use the pieces I’m picking up in new ways. My stories can be repetitive at times, but I always want to lean into the hope of it all. Before the end of the last month, I felt like I experienced the lyrics of this song in its entirety. 

“I’m a fool for seeing the best in you

I should have stopped

‘Cause darling I always knew”

I sometimes want a clean slate for my life and not any marks that have been left by people I allowed to brand themselves. But the truth is, I’m above that feeling. It’s human—my experiences no matter what we’re celebrating or grieving will always hold a special place in my heart. I’ve never had a negative experience living in my truth. But my truth is not that of others. I’m open to love, I’m open to heartache, I’m open to new beginnings and I just want people who can’t handle me to walk away. 

Don’t tell me to be less, don’t tell me you care, don’t create a version of me in your head to appease the version of you that doesn’t exist. We’re better than that, so why do we choose to be the worst versions of ourselves for people we say we want to give the world to? If you’re reading this and you think it’s about you, it probably is.

“Take what’s in my chest and leave your mark. You just wanna wear my Rhinestone Heart.”

These lyrics are my constant reminder that love doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It doesn’t exist for other people to take the parts of you that make you who you are. Your whole personality doesn’t change at the drop of a dime. The goal should always be to just be yourself, to be the person that a younger you could never have envisioned in the darkest moments. Being a beacon to people who look up to you and say, if that person can find themself, and love the most fractured version of themself then it’s worth it. 

I’ve vowed to be more than a fleeting object or memory for anyone. Loving others doesn’t have to be hard and being in love with yourself can be a reminder of that.