Lead Me On By Fletcher 

By Korie Houston

When it comes to love, I do not do anything halfway. b-side is where I unpack the messier, quieter parts of dating. The stories that do not always get a fairytale ending. Through music and memory, I try to make sense of what it means to love, to lose, and to feel everything in between. Flip the record with me.

I am still chronicling the highs and lows of life and love, but now we are doing it to the soundtrack that helps me process it all. This month’s track is Lead Me On by Fletcher, from her album In Search of the Antidote. The whole project is about healing, identity, and searching for meaning and this lyric is what struck me: “I was made to find you, but your heart is constantly running, just never towards me.”

We have all felt that. Like we have stumbled into a connection that could be more, only to realize we might be the only one feeling it?

Relationships can be full of these little “almosts.” A few great conversations. A couple of shared laughs. A subtle but steady build of anticipation. And before you know it, you are emotionally invested in someone who may or may not be on the same page. No hand-holding, no kiss, no grand gesture. Just the quiet hope that maybe, possibly, this connection could grow into something special.

You start overthinking the small stuff. Did they mean that message the way I read it? Was that look more than just friendly? You try to play it cool but, if you are honest with yourself, you are already hoping for something more. And when that energy is not matched, it stings in a way you cannot always explain. They did not do anything wrong but they did not exactly do it right either. There is a weird grief in realizing that maybe someone likes the idea of you or the presence of you, but not enough to truly choose you.

And still, we stay. We hold on. We tell ourselves that they just need more time to arrive at the same conclusion. Or worse, we tell ourselves that at least this ambiguity feels like something. Which brings us back to the lyric: “Why don’t you just lead me on? ‘Cause something is better than nothing at all.”

I have been there. Holding on to the potential of what something could be, even when the reality is far less romantic. And it is in those moments I have to ask myself: am I actually connecting or am I just afraid to be alone?

The truth is, sometimes people are not emotionally ready for deep relationships. Sometimes we are the ones not ready. And sometimes, someone just is not meant to play the role in our lives that we imagined for them. You can feel a connection and still know it is not sustainable. You can have chemistry and still lack alignment. And that does not make the experience any less real. It just makes the outcome more difficult to confront.

So here is what I am learning: protecting your heart does not mean building a wall around it. It means giving it to people who show up with the same openness and intention. It means recognizing when the person is not ready to co-author the story you are trying to write. 

Maybe In Search of the Antidote is not just about love. Maybe it is about the realization that YOU are the antidote. That healing starts when you stop trying to be enough for people who do not know what to do with your heart.

Finding love is about a pattern of hope. People may show up, stir something in you, and then leave you wondering if you made up all the future possibilities in your head. But here is the truth: if you felt something, it was real, even if it was not mutual or even if it did not last.

When the dust of a missed connection finally settles, I will continue on as someone who is a little lovestruck, a little lovelorn, but still willing to believe that something real can come from the most unexpected moments.