Other’s Melodies by Gatton
By Korie Houston
“Well I lost myself in other’s melodies
I was singing songs that were never meant for me.”
To be honest here, I’m navigating a level of depression that some days feels insurmountable. A friend recently sent me a song that he described as encompassing my experiences trying to be the person who gives everything they have for others and realizing I can’t do it all. Enter Gatton’s song, Other’s Melodies. His music is described as a healing journey of resilience. Some days I need more of that.
“I tried to heal everyone’s heartache but my own
Hiding behind their grief so I didn’t feel alone”
My life isn’t one I’d call hard. I have great jobs, incredible friends, and an abundance of love and light; yet something still feels missing. It took me time to admit that some people move through the world in a way that dims that light. And no amount of care or empathy can really change who they are at their core. The more time I spend alone with my thoughts I come to accept that giving it all shouldn’t be about me falling on my sword to appease others.
“I cast out my vibrance to
A sea of gray
Losing priceless color to the waves
Yes, I handed my vibrance to
The hands that take
Who never would understand all I gave”
I’ve always said that when it comes to matters of the heart; it’s never black and white. The shades of gray are where the most damage can be done. There is not a soul on this earth who should be able to take your light from you. It’s not simple but the only person I should focus on keeping healed is myself. Gatton’s lyrics remind me that mutual care in friendship, love and this life are worth more than surface level moments just to feel less alone.
“Well I lost myself searching for my worth
I was looking in the places I’ve been hurt
I sought out healing at the broken-hearted’s feet.”
I’ve lost my way more times than I can count. I have so many people to thank for keeping my head above water when I felt like I was drowning in an abyss. As much healing as I have done, my growth will never be found in the solace of a facade. The people that love you know when to say sorry, they know when to show up and they know that your worth isn’t defined by what you can do for them.
“Now the only one who’s breaking my heart these days is me.
I was searching for my healing in their pain. Well what if I find myself along the way…”
Other’s Melodies feels like a metaphor for this column in many ways. The soundtrack of my life is colored by the experiences I have with others. But the moments get washed away at times I’m just left with bittersweet memories. But on the path of growth, I’m bound to find new versions of myself. The one I’m embracing today is the person that won’t let myself be treated less than. I’m thankful for the people who can hold my hand through the discomfort. I’m learning to sit with my own heartbreak, instead of trusting it to people who might not.