Living Fully, Learning Boldly: How the Larry T. Baza Memorial Scholarship Empowers Students
By Joe Fejeran
I grew up on the island of Guam. My family moved to the mainland when I was 15 years old. I spent the rest of high school and into college exploring my own queerness. Much of the media I consumed during that time was overwhelmingly cis, white, and rooted in American sensibilities. That cultural exploration (while necessary) was its own form of assimilation. I wanted so urgently to understand myself. I wanted permission to know that my desire was natural. I was afraid that the culture I was raised in would not give me an answer I wanted to hear. I felt that in order to come to terms with being gay, I had to separate from my CHamoru identity.
In October 2018, I returned to Guam for my childhood best friend’s wedding. On my layover in Honolulu, I realized it was National Coming Out Day. Having come out since my last trip home, I posted on social media that I was so happy to be returning home out and proud. For the first time in my life, I stood on the land of my ancestors as my full, authentic self.
Since then, I have been on a journey to find a way to fully honor and inhabit both my queerness and my heritage as a CHamoru person. A few years ago, I discovered the legacy of Larry T. Baza. I was familiar with Larry’s name before I knew his full story. Larry dedicated his life to promoting arts and culture in San Diego. From working the concession stand at the Starlight Bowl in Balboa Park as a teenager, to becoming the director of the Centro Cutural de la Raza, Larry built a life rooted in storytelling, representation, and community. He understood that our stories – queer stories, Chicano stories, CHamoru stories, and so many others – are not separate from who we are. They are essential to it.
Through initiatives like the Larry T. Baza Memorial Scholarship Fund, the Lambda Archives creates opportunities for students to be honored for who they are and who they are becoming. That is why this scholarship matters. It is not just financial support. It is a statement that our communities, our cultures, and our identities belong in higher education, in leadership, and in the future we are building together. It affirms that the next generation of LGBTQIA+ students, especially those from historically underrepresented backgrounds, do not have to choose between who they are and where they want to go.
In 2023, I was asked to be the keynote speaker at the Larry T. Baza Memorial Scholarship Awards. As part of my preparation, I reached out to the Micronesia Area Research Center (MARC) at the University of Guam. Among its extensive collections are CHamoru genealogical records tracing family histories across generations. Through their work, I was able to see documentation of Larry’s lineage, including a Spanish colonial census from 1897 – the first written record of his CHamoru ancestors.
That document exists at the intersection of several histories: CHamoru and Chicano, Indigenous and colonial, personal and political. It reflects the broader forces of imperialism that shaped both sides of Larry’s identity and, in many ways, continue to shape our own. When I moved to California, I found the strongest sense of belonging with my Mexican-American friends in high school. The shared history of centuries of Spanish colonization influencing our language, food, customs, and religion created a bridge between our experiences.
What I found in those historical documents from the MARC is a bridge connecting my life with Larry’s; looking to the past to make sense of the present and to give hope to the future. The collection at Lambda Archives does this too. It shows us how others navigated their queer lives, bridging the stories of our forebearers to our community now and for future generations.
The Larry T. Baza Memorial Scholarship Fund is an extension of that bridge of history. It carries forward Larry’s legacy by investing in students who are navigating these same intersections of identity today. It ensures that more of us have the opportunity to pursue our education without leaving parts of ourselves behind.
If you are a student reading this, especially if you are CHamoru, I encourage you to apply. If you are in a position to give, I encourage you to donate to the scholarship fund. Your support is not just financial. It is an investment in the future of our community. It is a way to ensure that this bridge expands further, reaching students who may still be searching for permission to be fully themselves.
And for all of us, the call is the same: to continue building a world where no one feels they have to choose between who they are and where they belong. Because I know now what I wish I had known growing up: that I never had to separate my queerness from my CHamoru identity. And through this scholarship, through this community, and through the legacy of Larry T. Baza, we are making sure the next generation knows that too.