fairytale – Madison Rose

By Korie Houston

“Clutch my hand through the sequins
Dance with me through the fear
I was praying to find someone like you here“

My last few pieces have touched upon a lot of melancholic feelings of what it means to not let go. The delusion, the ache and what culpability looks like. But what about the whimsy? “Fairytale” by Madison Rose reminded me about the feelings of what that slow buildup used to mean. I had a talk with a good friend recently about the obsession we have, well maybe I have, with love. I want to deconstruct that. 

“The ghosts call my name, they’re tugging at you too.
But we love like nobody’s watching 
When we’re alone in this room. 
I think I’m falling for you. Will you fall for me too?“

Madison Rose’s entire discography encompasses finding yourself through love, joy, serving a little cunt, and chasing your dreams through a queer lens. These lyrics reminded me of those fleeting moments in time that was the embodiment of falling for someone new. My past is littered with ghosts in the graveyard and it can feel a little haunting. But my heart is still beating and yearning to find something meaningful even if it’s exhausting at times. 

“It’s more than a drug, it’s oxygen
I need you as a lover, I can’t settle for friends

I’ve talked about how love can be intoxicating. All encompassing. Sometimes for people it has to be everything or it’s nothing. For me it’s a constant divide between being honest about my feelings and asking myself why. What’s the reason we want to find it? What’s the meaning behind it for you versus another person? I’ve found it through family chosen and blood. But “fairytale” is about finding something that feels so unbelievably unreal it makes you question reality. 

“Kiss my glitter in the moonlight
Sing with me in the sun
I was praying I’d finally get to love someone“

What does it mean to shine brighter than the moment? What does it mean when you shine together? I’ve experienced the feelings of people dimming your light, navigating experiences of burn out and realizing that we can’t all chase the sun. But when you want to stand in the light with someone you love, that’s a story worth telling.

“It wasn’t a dreamlike start
Can we cut to the best part?
Where the old you and me
Are a distant memory“

I’ve hit a point where the more I ask the less I want. I’m open and honest, but at the same time vulnerability has become so scary that trying to understand up from down can be debilitating. Madison’s lyrics remind me that I want to just fast forward to the parts that are beyond a honeymoon phase, creating a life that feels healthy, sustainable and whole. Love doesn’t have to be the factor, but it can be a part of the moment.

“I know you heard how the story’s supposed to end
Could this be where the fairytale begins?”

So how do I want this story to end? I don’t want a white picket fence. We live in San Diego, so truly fuck that. “Fairytale” by Madison Rose is about the beauty of love and wanting something you sometimes can’t have or have a hard time finding. But when it’s real, it’s fulfilling. I know that I want to be happy. I take steps every day to ensure that. A fairytale for me isn’t riding off into the sunset, it’s to meet someone who envisions the same reality that we can create together. What does your fairytale look like?